Make Room For A More Present Future
Some decisions have more weight than others. Some change your life, some change your year, some change your night. At the moment, they may not be understood for the impact that they will have, but sometimes you just know - "Yep, that was the right move to make."
I recently attended a wedding in Tuscany that, without question, is one of the best weddings I've ever been to. Not just because of the setting, not just because of the thoughtfulness of every moment of the weekend, not just because of the incredible love demonstrated for the bride and groom, and not just because of the exceptional guests that I had the opportunity to meet, but because of a simple choice made by the bride and groom on their wedding day.
"Please leave your phones in your hotel rooms. We hope this will allow us to all be even more present for our ceremony, the dinner, and the fun that will follow."
As we walked down to the olive grove where the ceremony was taking place, we were asked several times by different people along the way, "Do you have your cell phone with you?" With giddy laughter, we all responded that we were phoneless, looking to each other for moral support saying with our eyes, "we can do this, right?!"
As we sat waiting for the ceremony to start, the initial discomfort of being without our digital companions became evident. We couldn't snap a picture of the absolutely stunning aisle, flowers, and our well-dressed fellow attendees—we were forced to... talk to each other.
I couldn't immediately Google the original text of the absolutely incredible readings that were shared, I had to remember them on my own! (My favorite is linked below)
After the ceremony was completed, I couldn't show my wife my best effort at sneaking a shot of the couple walking down the aisle or sharing their first kiss, we both just knew that we'd seen it and that it was beautiful.
In the cocktail reception, my eyes were up and I was able to compliment the officiant on the ceremony and one of the other readers on their choice of a quote by Andy Bernard from The Office. We got to feel the full force of the Italian Tenor as he took Nessun Dorma to a place that Pavarotti would be proud of.
The conversation at our table of new friends we were seated with was different. We couldn't show each other pictures from earlier in the day, and there were times when we all tried to remember something, but without someone checking their phone to confirm, we collectively were just all okay, not knowing for sure.
On the dance floor, no sweaty shots of a bowtie loosened by the groom or sneakers donned by the bride, just free hands to catch the spontaneously crowd-surfing father of the bride.
The seemingly simple decision by the bride and groom to ask their guests to forego their smartphones for the night was, in hindsight, one of the kindest gifts among the many that they gave us that weekend.
The next morning, as I was reflecting on the night, I instinctively reached for my phone to flip through the photos. A smile crossed my face when I didn't see any, and instead, I pulled out my journal to capture the memories that I wanted to make sure to secure and to consider, "How can I make room for a more present future?"
"Wedding Poem" by Whitney Hanson
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