35/40 - The Second Best Way To Wake Up

The first time I went was a turning point to say the least. It went from something I'd thought about doing to something that I did as often as possible all over the world when I had the chance over the next two years. It became a can't-miss-moment that I'd fly back early from events to make sure I could attend. It was my first version of therapy after my divorce.

I found a whole new version of myself in dancing.  More specifically, more sober rave-style dancing.

In 2014, a couple of friends were sick of the fact that the only time you could go dancing with your friends was either at a wedding reception or in a nightclub that involved bottle service, bouncers, and a guest list.  They also hated that both of those options were always accompanied by alcohol and other stimulants.

So they decided to host the first-ever sober morning rave in NYC. It was an immediate hit and became something now called Daybreaker. I went to my first one shortly after finding out I was getting divorced. I walked in a little timidly, like the first time I went to homeschool prom by myself. I surveyed the room and noticed just how infectious the energy was. Everyone was smiling and everyone was moving their body. They were truly dancing like no one was watching. It wasn't long before my body caught the beat and started to move with the groove. I saw a few people I knew and we all were laughing that after we finished dancing we had meetings to go to.

Over the course of the next two years, I didn't miss a single Daybreaker in NYC. I got to know the organizers and found my tribe on the morning dance floor. I started recruiting people to come with me. I started planning where I would sleep during my nomadic phase in NYC post-divorce to make sure I woke up near the nightclub or performance hall that was hosting the Daybreaker that week.

Then a crazy thing happened. The MC of the event got it stuck in my head,

"Don't be afraid of the dance circle."

And all of a sudden, I was in the middle of 700+ morning ravers busting a move. Then, I was practicing dance routines with my friend so that at the next Daybreaker when the dance circle formed, we could jump in and show our stuff. No one ever expects the tall guy with a beard to be the first one in the dance circle, but it became a new home for me. Dancing became a new form of expression for me and I felt free to be myself in a whole new way.

I'd always loved dancing but had never been surrounded by people who loved it as much as I did or who wanted to get better at it and practice the way that this group did. Some of the best friendships I had during that time in my life were friends that I saw on the dance floor where we all just let go and let it all out, sober, aware, and sweaty.

I am so glad that I discovered that part of myself because in 2016, I was helping a friend set up a dance cardio pop-up in Montauk. After it was all set up, I decided to jump in and dance along with the class and the really hot dance instructor. No one expected the tall bearded guy to be able to keep up with the dance cardio, but it was so fun and I had a wonderful time. It was even more fun when I look back on that moment and can say that that was the day I met the love of my life. That really hot dance instructor was Maddie.